I have a wedding coming up, my only daughter is getting married in September and it is quite the project. I am determined despite the pain I feel being without John, to make this a joyful celebration. Life goes on.....those of us who lose the closest person in our lives may feel like life is on hold, but for everyone else it is going forward.....
During prayer and worship yesterday the Lord led me to Paul's declaration in Philippians Chapter 3:7-14. Please take the time to read it. I would like to highlight these verses for now....
vs 13,14 : "Brethren I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus"
I felt His pull on my broken heart again, so during worship I saw a waterfall and I was standing in front of it with my hands under the flow, He was beckoning me to stand under it and let it cover me. Then I heard Him say, "Former glories, former defeats,...you will not hear me recount them to you. You must not recount them to Me."
Then I felt Him show me that as long if I lived in the past, I would miss the present. He is eternal, His kingdom is eternal, ever alive and active. I must live in Him now, keep my eyes on Him so I will not miss what He is doing now. Ever seeing Him so I can hear His voice and respond in the moment to His will. The message at our church meeting spoke about Jesus weeping over Jerusalem, He said,
Luke 19:42,44 "If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace!..........they will not leave one stone upon another, because you did not know the time of your visitation."
Jesus the Messiah was in their midst! And they missed it because they were looking back. In the recent months I have met with many people who remember the large church we were all a part of. Some remember it with longing, some with pain and disappointment but whichever it is, it is still looking back. "Anyone who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God." Luke 9:62
I don't want to miss what the Lord is doing now. I want to be an active part of His will & purpose for this hour. Despite the loneliness and pain I feel daily, I ask the Lord to use me for His glory. He knows I have many memories, wonderful memories and painful ones. They will always be a part of my life and I will allow them to teach me, but I will not be bound by them to the point of keeping me from pressing on in Him. Don't let the glories of the past put pride in your heart for today, or the hurts of the past be a chain holding you back. Forgive the hurts, lay your crowns at His feet, and seek Him today, now.....don't wait, don't put it off to tomorrow. He is here, He is now.
Be free, let go, press on, look to Him and watch Him live in you today......I love you all.....
