I AM HIS
I can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I have written last. I have been writing in my journals instead. That voice that says who cares what you have to say, comes in my head but a dear friend who reads these says, I read them, please continue. So here I go again.....
I have a sign on my wall it says.....I AM HIS......
In the midst of this worldwide crisis I have heard so many viewpoints on what is "really happening here". So many spiritual views that my head could spin in every direction. I am not here to give another spin. It is all too overwhelming for this widow who lives alone and on little. So I get on my face and cry out to the One who made me and knows me best to ask, What do You say to me....to me....not to the world but to me.....
I heard this Leviticus 19. I turned to it and there in verse 2 was my answer.
2 Say to the whole community of the Israelites: You must be holy, because I, the Lord your God, am holy.
I stopped and in my Hebrew notes was the definition of Holy:
"Qadosh" Set apart, dedicated to sacred purposes, sacred, clean, morally and ceremonially pure, Holiness is separation from everything profane and defiling, and at the same time dedicated to everything holy and pure.
Whoa! But what I felt next came from the Spirit, that I believe dwells within me. And it was a directive. To not waste my time during this quarantine. It had not even been official yet that a quarantine was going to be put into place but I knew it was coming. I didn't pray it away, or command it away in "faith". I just knew it was coming and I was to seek Him even more and keep myself away from those things that were empty from filling my time. It is one thing to be separated in all of this but to be dedicated....to what?
The answer is not to what....but to Whom.....
Intimacy with Christ will not happen in the crowd. He taught us that. The crowd is easily turned in every direction and confusion rules. But to be alone with someone affords the time to get to know them in a real personal way. I have had great relationships that have been life altering not because of impersonal teaching but because of love. They and I have delved into the place of keeping each other accountable and helping each other in concrete ways that do not happen on a Sunday morning in a building. It has happened as we lived with each other, and walked with each other in high moments and in deep valleys. We have laughed and cried and just been silent together.
I believe, God has placed in each of us, into the very depths of our souls the desire for belonging.....to be family. And He as the head of this, is the ultimate example of how to be intimate. It is not a blind acceptance and approval of all I am. I am a sinner that He died for, and paid a dear price to set free and share His righteous nature with. Yet it does not end there, He desires to share His nature so I can be like Him and have a bond that will last eternally. And I can share that nature by grace with others around me. It is ever revealing as it says in 2 Corinthians 4:6
6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
So many claim to know who Jesus is. But how many really come into personal relationship with Him. He told us He would send us the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has been my personal trainer, teacher, guide, discerner of sin, pointer to truth, discipliner, enabler, and friend. Oh how lost I would be in this world without Him. Jesus knew how much....
And He (the Holy Spirit) always points to Jesus. ALWAYS!
There is no other agenda or God, Period.
And we need Him desperately to keep us from just following the crowd.....
I once had a dream..... I was bound in chains for sale in a marketplace. I saw Him, Jesus came and paid the price to free me but He turned and walked away...… I knew in that moment I needed to follow..... I ran and fell at His feet grasping Him, and begged do not leave me, I belong to You. So I was taken to a wall and my ear pierced through with the symbol of a bondservant. He started to leave again and I began to follow......
In this following I have been challenged to the very depths of my being. I have read and studied the scriptures, and prayed with blinding tears, "Lord I want to know You". I prayed that as a young new Christian over 45 years ago and He reminds me that He heard me and took me up on it when I choose to grumble in my flesh. It has been quite the journey.....but I would not trade it for the world.
He is my life......
Where are you in all of this?
Where indeed are any of us in all of this...…
I pray we are seeking Him, finding Him, and
I pray we are following Him...….
I
