Today I spent the afternoon after work at a friend's, first a make-up party, then an episode of "I Love Lucy"(tee-hee), a game of "Shutes & Ladders" with her daughter.... then supper, then one on one fellowship. What a fun time and fulfilling one as well. During our fellowship time we discussed and shared the things God was putting on our hearts. I shared one truth that keeps coming to me and keeps me going.... God is never surprised.
No matter how surprised we are, no matter how shocked or shaken, He is not. If I didn't believe this, I would be unable to function or face life as it is for me right now. The night John went to be with the Lord, I felt this. I was shaken, I was in great pain and grief but I knew where John was (and is...), I knew the Lord was welcoming him home. As I finally collapsed in fatigue the next day I would wake every hour and the stabbing pain would hit me, John is not here anymore....but at the same time within seconds the Holy Spirit spoke the Word to me...., "Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it abides alone, but if it dies it brings forth much fruit." John 12:24......I would hear it again and again for weeks on end each time I would wake up in the night, it was as clear as a bell. This spoke volumes to me.....He is aware of everything, He knows everything, He is God. What happened has brought me to a place of opportunity. Will I choose to grow in faith or fear. Is it easy to go through? No! But He is with me every step of the way. Sometimes He has to carry me. I will choose to follow and trust Jesus Christ no matter what. Am I challenged? Yes! Am I perfected in this? No! But I am learning daily........ This truth, this love, this Lord......will keep me going......
