While I sit here alone I have been feeling the loneliness.....but I also have been meditating and praying about some things I need to make decisions about. I pray about everything. I cannot think about my life apart from what the Lord's will is for me. I have been promised that if I seek Him I will find Him. (Deut. 4:29) Also if I trust in Him and lean not on my understanding, and in ALL my ways acknowledge Him He will direct my paths. (Prov. 3:5,6) So I believe this to be true and seek Him daily for my life. I am tempted by my grief to sit alone and just do nothing but sit.....I sit in my rocker and rock and rock....
but...... there is inside me a song rising.....one that I heard the day I gave my life to the Lord. It has never left....it might have gotten quieted by hardship and trial but it is always there. I hear it in the night, I hear it when I am in prayer, I hear it in the silence of aloneness. It is I believe part of a symphony and I am one instrument among many. I do not want the pain to silence my song, and I don't think it will. I see the Lord like a conductor holding His baton, tapping it on the music stand and lifting it up as all the instruments gather their attention to Him. He is ready for us to play as one.....this is our time to rise up and make the music of the Kingdom of God.
This world is playing another song, one that is not melodious, it is chaotic and full of fear and it is driving men mad. You see the confusion, and the disharmony bringing no peace, no hope. Yet in the midst of all this darkness, I still hear the song. It is the song of the redeemed.....singing to the Lamb of God.
No matter where I find myself I know I am not of this world. I am an ambassador of another kingdom. I am here to play
His song, and be
His instrument. And by
His Spirit I get tuned and ready to respond to the conductor of my life. I found a card recently that was from my sister Ann Hebert who went home to be with the Lord a year before John. I think the Lord let me find it, and within it was a message to me and I believe it is for you as well......
" There are things only you can do, and you are alive to do them. In the great orchestra we call life,
you have an instrument and a song, and you owe it to God to play them both sublimely.
Within the card it said only two words, ...........PLAY ON............love, Ann
As I read the card, the words rang as a command for me to not sit alone and let life pass me by but to rise again take up my instrument and song and not to let anything stop me. I have a song......His name is
JESUS.
