Prayer

       As I sit in my sun room this morning, it is anything but sunny outside. While this storm blows around me I have been spending quality time with the Lord. Sometimes being "stuck" at home with very little happening is a good thing. It causes us to quiet ourselves and maybe if we let it, bring us to desire a deeper experience of  the Lord's Presence. I believe the Lord allows the "storms" of this life to come to us for a reason. It was Israel's constant weakness to forget the Lord in the "good" times. That is why He would allow them to suffer in some way so they would repent and seek Him again. It was the Lord's mercy that did this, not His condemnation. It is the Lord's mercy that allows us now to face storms.

       "Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You. When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."     Psalm 61:1,2


        I use my husband's bible now and he wrote next to this verse, "David's need drove him to seek God".
How true I have found this statement to be. In my deepest pain, He has caused me to seek Him like never before. I have kept the constant discipline of spending time alone with the Lord, but in my times of greatest distress I have been pressed to go much deeper. Oh, if I could take you to this place!..... but you must go there yourself.....
        One of the greatest lacks in the body today is the desire to pray. It is the symptom of a greater lack......faith. We don't believe the Lord is listening, or that He will act. We believe in physical action above spiritual action. How many times I have rushed ahead of the Lord to "do" only to fall on my face and realize I made a mess of things. This society is used to a "high-speed", quick response lifestyle, "no lines, no waiting", no time. We have filled our schedules, until we are running about saying quick prayers as we go....(somewhat like a drive through...). Yet with all this activity, we are missing so much. When the Lord was in the garden of Gethsemene He challenged His disciples, "What? Could you not watch with Me one hour?" Matthew 26:40,  What? One whole hour? Really Lord?.......
         Here in the Lord Jesus' darkest hour, He sought His Father........if our Lord did, shouldn't we? He prayed for us! And He was heard and answered.....
         Do we believe in this dark hour that our Lord hears us when we pray? I can say with all my heart a resounding, YES! In the midst of my valley of grief, I have cried out to the Lord....and He has heard me.Why? Because I am special? No! Because I believe He hears me and will answer. Because I wait on Him, and believe the Word that says, "Ask and you shall receive, Seek and you shall find, Knock and it will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7 
         I am in a place that the Lord has put me, a very needy place. Without Him, I cannot survive. I was a very happy wife of a very loving husband. He took care of me, and served me for 30 years. He was my constant companion, my prayer & worship partner and my teacher. Now I am a widow, facing a lot of challenges and missing my husband beyond words has caused me to seek the face of God. When I thought I would drown for grief, He has reached down and pulled me up. One evening as I lay upon my bed crying for hours, I felt the darkness and depression of the late night enter my soul. It is during these hours that the enemy wants me to dwell on my husband's last breath of life here in our bedroom. In the midst of this, I begged God to deliver me. I was not strong enough to fight this alone, I needed prayer. All of a sudden the phone rang, (remember it was very late) and there on the line was a brother who felt the Lord tell him that I was in distress. All I could do was weep, He began to pray and worship, and pray and worship. This went on for quite a while. He did not pray a "quick fix" prayer and hang up. He battled for me as his family joined him. He prayed for ministering angels to come to me and aid me, after a time I could feel them lifting my arms and holding me up. A peace and comfort came over me, and I slept in the arms of the Lord that night. Thank you Lord for those that listen and obey. Prayer is important, it is not a religious past-time. It is a real work, and it accomplishes so much.  John felt that call to prayer more than any other work he did. He fasted often and prayed daily for the Lord to move in His church. I believe he was heard, I believe he did his greatest work in the closet of prayer. He believed that you needed to bathe everything in it.
                           " .....In everything by prayer..."Phil.4:6
       I believe the fruit of his ministry here was a direct result of his unseen ministry of prayer for you & I. I want to continue that......I want to bathe everything in prayer. I want to hear above all the noise of this life the voice of the bridegroom calling me to His chambers.....I want to believe that He hears and will answer ..........will you join me? can you give Him at least an hour? He will not disappoint you my friend.....He will meet you there....and you will be divinely ruined. Nothing in this life will satisfy you, as His Presence does. The way you look at life will be changed, your spiritual eyes will be opened and you will want to pray. You will desire to come and spend time alone with Him.
         "My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my
 rock and my salvation." Psalm 61:5,6
                           Do you hear Him? He is calling you right now.....

I Belong

           At Sunday morning meeting I had a wonderful experience. When my husband & I stepped back from full-time ministry we began fellowshipping with a small group of believers. If we went to a meeting at the building we sat out back and laid low but over these few years we built up some relationships. When John went home to be with the Lord, the world as I knew it totally changed. I was in such shock and pain that I needed someone with me all the time. My family and friends were there to keep me going but also the church. It has been an emotionally difficult year but I can write that the Lord has shown me such overwhelming compassion. Whenever I am overcome with grief by facing my everyday duties without my husband, the Lord sends relief. Each time I fall apart something divine comes my way...... a phone call, a prayer, physical help, financial help, encouragement. I have had so many answers to prayer I have lost count.
           In the heart of every human is the desire to belong, to be loved and cherished. The Lord put that in us when He created us in His image. After an army of believers had been at my home recently (they were inside and out fixing it to sell) I sat alone in my sunroom to pray and there Jesus met me and dropped this desire in my heart, to come before this local body of Christ and ask to be a committed member. I didn't sign a roster, take membership classes or pay dues, I just wanted to belong. I have received so much that I need to give back. I am healing, I am growing, and I long to be a living vital part of the Body of Christ like never before. This is not about me, it is about Jesus. This body of believers have shown me Jesus in a viable way. It is not about a building, meetings, money or crowds.....but relationships that give. I have seen so many lay down their lives for me, how can I sit back and just watch.....Oh Lord, help me to show forth Jesus to them. As I stepped forward the elders laid hands on me and prayed, then the whole body came forth and prayed. After this, a sister got a tub of water and washed my feet as another sister went to the piano and led us in the song "I Belong". At this point many were weeping.There is a oneness that can only happen when we are broken and humble before God.  Knowing that I am cherished and I am loved by the Lord frees me to love back. Our lives are not our own, we have been bought with a price, with the blood of Jesus Christ. It is not the time to hide, except in Him for then, and only then, we will want to lay down our lives for Him. The teacher that morning didn't know about what I was going to do and delightfully the message was about 2 widows, the one who was able to divinely provide for Elijah (I Kings 17:8), and the other with the jars of oil (II Kings 4). Both were in a difficult place but both were used by God. This verse stood out to me and was made alive by the Holy Spirit...
                ".......See I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." I Kings 17:9

        It does not matter what our circumstances are, where we have come from or what we have or don't have.......God can use us.....the living God! Despite the desperate position these two women found themselves in they obeyed the Lord and miracles happened.
        As I sat having my feet washed I could hear that verse and I was stirred. By the Lord's grace I will be a vital, living, giving part of His body. I pray to hear, to believe and to obey.....what greater blessing can we experience......no greater joy, no greater pleasure........
             Where does the confidence come from? Why do I have this joy and desire?
                                                Because I Belong.........