At Sunday morning meeting I had a wonderful experience. When my husband & I stepped back from full-time ministry we began fellowshipping with a small group of believers. If we went to a meeting at the building we sat out back and laid low but over these few years we built up some relationships. When John went home to be with the Lord, the world as I knew it totally changed. I was in such shock and pain that I needed someone with me all the time. My family and friends were there to keep me going but also the church. It has been an emotionally difficult year but I can write that the Lord has shown me such overwhelming compassion. Whenever I am overcome with grief by facing my everyday duties without my husband, the Lord sends relief. Each time I fall apart something divine comes my way...... a phone call, a prayer, physical help, financial help, encouragement. I have had so many answers to prayer I have lost count.
In the heart of every human is the desire to belong, to be loved and cherished. The Lord put that in us when He created us in His image. After an army of believers had been at my home recently (they were inside and out fixing it to sell) I sat alone in my sunroom to pray and there Jesus met me and dropped this desire in my heart, to come before this local body of Christ and ask to be a committed member. I didn't sign a roster, take membership classes or pay dues, I just wanted to belong. I have received so much that I need to give back. I am healing, I am growing, and I long to be a living vital part of the Body of Christ like never before. This is not about me, it is about Jesus. This body of believers have shown me Jesus in a viable way. It is not about a building, meetings, money or crowds.....but relationships that give. I have seen so many lay down their lives for me, how can I sit back and just watch.....Oh Lord, help me to show forth Jesus to them. As I stepped forward the elders laid hands on me and prayed, then the whole body came forth and prayed. After this, a sister got a tub of water and washed my feet as another sister went to the piano and led us in the song "I Belong". At this point many were weeping.There is a oneness that can only happen when we are broken and humble before God. Knowing that I am cherished and I am loved by the Lord frees me to love back. Our lives are not our own, we have been bought with a price, with the blood of Jesus Christ. It is not the time to hide, except in Him for then, and only then, we will want to lay down our lives for Him. The teacher that morning didn't know about what I was going to do and delightfully the message was about 2 widows, the one who was able to divinely provide for Elijah (I Kings 17:8), and the other with the jars of oil (II Kings 4). Both were in a difficult place but both were used by God. This verse stood out to me and was made alive by the Holy Spirit...
".......See I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." I Kings 17:9
It does not matter what our circumstances are, where we have come from or what we have or don't have.......God can use us.....the living God! Despite the desperate position these two women found themselves in they obeyed the Lord and miracles happened.
As I sat having my feet washed I could hear that verse and I was stirred. By the Lord's grace I will be a vital, living, giving part of His body. I pray to hear, to believe and to obey.....what greater blessing can we experience......no greater joy, no greater pleasure........
Where does the confidence come from? Why do I have this joy and desire?
Because I Belong.........
