The other evening I was having a difficult moment when it was time to go to bed. It usually is (a difficult moment) since being alone is something new for me. At night I face the memories of the past and the fears that try to overcome me about the future. I have felt like an elephant has been sitting on my chest. I don't think I could sigh any deeper as I gaze at my husbands picture by my bed. As this happened again, I asked the Lord to speak to me, I usually get my bible and wait on Him or browse at the Psalms. I took out a book I have been reading slowly, since it is written by a christian brother who lost some loved ones in an accident, in fact 3 persons. He challenged me to face the darkness I feel at times and not to run from it. Our tendency is to fill the hours with activity to keep us numb from the pain. So this was one of those opportunities to not run away. As I waited the Lord brought me to a vivid memory from my childhood. I would sleep occasionally at my grandparents apartment which was in a large, very old building. They had the second and part of the third floor. When it was time to go to bed I would go up the narrow stairwell as my grandfather would watch me. As I got to the top I would ask him to come up and turn the light on in the bedroom for me. He would gruffly reply that he was not going to come up for that and I could do it myself. (He raised 4 boys during the depression and WWII, he had to be tough.) Now you are thinking.....what was the big deal? Well my friend....if you are older like myself, you will remember the light switches were much of the time a string hanging from a light bulb in the middle of the room. With my heart beating wildly, I would run in, thrash my arms in the air so I could find the string and get that light on as soon as possible. I was so afraid of the dark and at the age of 8 still believing in ghosts and whatnot. I would find the light and all was well, no goblins to eat me. As this flashback came to me, I laughed, and thought of my Father in heaven looking on as I beg Him to turn the light on for me in my most difficult of trials. He so patiently lets me know that I can turn the light on myself because He has provided it while facing my grown up goblins with the strength that He has given me by His Spirit. The power is His, the choice is mine. Do I run away and hide or realize that there is nothing to fear. I felt a warm embrace from His Presence, praised and thanked Him for all His tender care, rolled over and peacefully shut the light.............Jesus You are my "nightlight".
"For You will light my lamp, the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness"
Psalm 18:28
"He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke their chains in pieces."
Psalm 107:14
"Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness...."
Psalm 112:4
"If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me", even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the
darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both
alike to You."
Psalm 139:11,12
"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the
shadow of death, upon them a light has shined."
Isaiah 9:2, Matthew 4:16
