WHAT IS THE CHURCH?

This was John's constant question. I can't tell you how many times over the years I heard him ask it. And he would add, "for this isn't it". After years of organized "christianity" with it's fancy building and programs he always felt out of place. Men who saw potential in him grabbed him and began to try to "pump him up" for something "greater". Excuse all the quotation marks but they are in emphasis of the lack of truth in it all. I drive by the place where a pinnacle once stood, an edifice of success and supposed "anointing". There is a bridge there now in place of the large "church", school, parking lot and sports field with joining prayer walk. All the promise of years to come. Oh there is such a lesson here and if we don't listen we will miss it.
It all started in our hearts as we were excited about our faith and salvation in Jesus Christ. A small group of us met in an upper room of an office having a weekly bible study. As we crammed into this room from growth in numbers, it was decided we would meet in a local hotel. Well we continued to grow. Nothing special in effects. A few songs then our teacher would read off the study he put together on paper for everyone to have and read together. In between he allowed for testimonies. Every week it grew and more and more came by invitation. We moved it to local school settings of auditoriums or cafeterias. In a year's time there were hundreds attending this Tuesday event. There was such joy and excitement for me. I was 17 years old and having accepted Christ as my Savior the year before I was beyond joyful. At the age of 18 I along with others signed a charter to create a church. If we only understood that the Lord had already created it by His Spirit. Along came plans for breaking ground and building a large Center for gathering. All seemed right in the world but it was not. When men decide to not wait on God and seek His will first and plunge into "business" as usual that is when life leaves. Within a few years of being in the building the bible study died down to a few. So much money and effort had to go into this project. Then the labor to keep it up was monumental. Why so much for something that will not last. Our relationship with Jesus Christ by His Holy Spirit and with one another is the true life of the church. And with the need to make programs and get volunteers to tirelessly man them, it leaves little time for relating on any deep level. I would watch as my husband tried to fulfill the many tasks that lay before him. A simple man who had an insatiable desire to love God with his whole soul. His constant fasting and prayer for church showed me his dedication to see this in his day. I did not understand, I did not see it then like him.
But after many years in 2007 when we decided to resign from our little mission, I finally saw and understood. We never left ministry, our home was a constant place for anyone who needed a place to live, to cry, to pray, to eat, to just belong. I believe the Lord puts in every heart this longing to belong, to be heard, to be truly loved. Is it such a difficult thing for the church in America to understand this? With our release from the unending demands of organized religion, we were ready to live it out daily in our simple way of loving. Every evening John & I worshipped and prayed and believed. The fellowship was otherworldly, I will never forget the hours of sharing our hearts together. It is the one thing I miss the most. It is the one thing I desire to bring to my family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. Two weeks before John went to be with the Lord, he said, "You know what? You are my most favorite person in the world to hang with." And I quickly replied with a heart full, "And you are mine". It was not just a feeling coming from a romantic desire. It was rich, deep and truly spiritual. When someone speaks to you, do you look them in the eye? Do you really listen? Or are you anxious to move on to more important folk or to get to be the one who is heard. I've done a lot of talking in my day and now its my turn to listen and feel what they are feeling. To love the way I was commanded to love, to give my time, my patience and my abilities to make that other person feel like they are truly loved, not by me alone but by my God who lives in me. No desire for a stage, or audience, just real relationship. The kind that will bring healing to a lost and dying world and healing to all my brothers and sisters who have been hurt by all the plastic activity we call successful ministry. Each individual touching another can change the world. As we get on our knees let us pray and repent from such fluff and hear His heart. The kind of heart that left the crowd and found a woman rejected by the rejected. He revealed His nature as He told her, her failed past and sinful present would not stop him from offering her living water.
He told us as He ascended my brethren to go, not to build and beg the world to come to us. There are too many that will never come to your fancy buildings, or tailored meetings. Jesus is our home and we are His dwelling place. We bring Him wherever we go. Look and see and hear what the Spirit is saying the church is. John and I got the answer finally. We agreed it is Jesus, the church being Jesus. And may I ask, Where did he build? He began with a motley crew of men, who were anything but perfect. He ate with, lived with, travelled with them for over 3 years. With No pinnacle or edifice of grandeur,  what did He give us? He gave us Himself. He died for us, rose again and sent His Spirit. This motley crew were later known as the men who were turning the world upside down again without edifice or building. This is the result of One life, One love. May we see Jesus as He is, and finally be the church....Oh beloved......be the church.

 Amen, let us hear what the Spirit is saying.

Canoe Do This

        Well I was thinking lately of relationships and the twists and turns they may take. But since I am better at word pictures I wish to tell a funny tale to make my point.
         A year and a half ago I went on vacation in the White Mountains with my dear friend Lynn. I love the northwoods of NH and hadn't really spent any good length of time there in years. Getting my friend to go with me was the first step. Since my job at the time was an office job I wanted to be out and about, hiking and seeing as much as I could. She on the other hand cleans homes and businesses for a living and I think I tuckered her out real good.

        The part we both will remember for years to come is how I got her to agree to a canoe trip on the Saco River. Both a little scared we set out. They piled us in a van, took us up the river 5 miles, and dropped everything onto a beach and left us. We looked at each other waiting for instructions but none came. So right from the beginning we couldn't agree on how to start. But finally we stepped on and pushed out. The current immediately took us and then before we knew it we were going backwards! Oh how we laughed and were embarrassed as we were shouting instructions to each other. (There were other groups there) We finally after much struggle were able to aright ourselves and got a rythm going. I would paddle in front as she acted as rudder in the rear.                                                          Now as only those who know it would realize, the Saco River is not a straight shot. In fact it is like ribbon candy. It could not be any more winding and needless to say our arms got a real workout. And keeping us from hitting leaning brush and trees was a real trial. It even rained at one point. It took us hours, so we stopped on a beach and ate lunch. We set out again and this time a stronger current began to pull us faster. My heart pounding, I tried to remain calm, wanting to show my friend we were ok and not to worry. Then the water got deeper and with the river bending again sharp we found ourselves lodged on a log unable to get ourselves freed. I tried to push and push, paddle and paddle but we couldn't budge. Getting a little scared and hoping we would not be stuck there till someone found us, I prayed, "Lord please help!" All of a sudden a rather large dragonfly flew between us into Lynn's face and she began thrashing about wildly shouting and standing, almost tipping the canoe. I shouted back that she would make us fall in. She was not happy needless to say but it was the very thing that got us unstuck and we glided on past all the debris. She announced at the same time that she was not having fun. I laughed nervously hoping that our friendship would endure. We did get into a flow together and were finally progressing knowing what to do when each obstacle came. We finally after what seemed like an eternity saw the dock and paddled in to an awaiting worker who helped us get out. 

        We got into the car and drove away. We still do not agree on the size of that dragonfly, I saying it might have been 6 inches and she saying it was 3 feet at least! Haha, we chuckle at the whole affair now and yes our friendship endured. She even thanked me for making her do it! I later found her a note pad at Zeb's Country Store with the words  "Canoe Do This".(chuckle)  I look back on this with a smile from time to time and recently the Lord showed me how this is so much like relationships. With twists and turns, currents pulling us in every direction, hindrances trying to keep us from going forward and fatigue from all the work at keeping it together. But if we will let the Lord take us on the trip we will understand later and love each other all the more for enduring the long winding river we call life. Lynn is a special friend, I cherish her willingness for venturing out of her comfort zone with me that day. We need to find those kinds of friends and when we do, be willing to go through whatever life throws at us and love each other no matter what. For when it is time to make our final docking we will get to thank each other forever.....

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

      "Draw me close to You, never let me go......" As the singers in the service began singing it this morning, I began to cry. I had kept it together, but the ache was stirring. We had just finished a song about surrender and again as I have to do often, I reached out to The Lord to say I surrender again. My heart now in a vulnerable place and the old song beginning to be sung I sat down to cry. Every evening John and I worshipped and prayed together and that song was a constant prayer. After a long day's work amidst a world of hurting folks we would draw near to the only One who could heal us and fill us. Oh how I miss those times especially when I pick up the guitar and sing alone. I can still hear his voice in the background, probably because he is still singing with me even now.
      I guess I cannot get tired of talking of love because that is what God is. And in a world that is full of anger and hate, that is the most needed element. God's love, which is the only kind that can fill the cavernous hole in a human soul.  This Christmas Eve after going to a midnight service with my sister in law, I came home to a quiet house, went to bed and the tears began to flow. I told The Lord how tired I was of feeling like I just don't fit in anymore. How I missed that unconditional love that was so lavished upon me by my sweet John. Sometimes the loneliness was overwhelming but this night even more so. "Lord, this is so hard! Why did you take him. Tell me again. I feel so lost sometimes, so lacking in my ability to cope. I miss the love, the fellowship, the kindness, the patience, the faithfulness that was given so freely everyday. I never had to prove myself to him, he loved me as I am, and he was my greatest cheerleader, always encouraging the best in me to come forth. Where is it now?"
       I finished pouring my heart out before Him, ............then it came........ Like a soft whisper on a sweet breeze, His voice ever closer than my own breath,.......He said, "What will you do now?"
      It was only a second, but an eternity at the same time. My spirit rose up in me and replied, "I will love those you have given me with the same love I received. It is now my turn."
      And with that I felt His Presence like a blanket cover me, sweet peace came upon me and I fell asleep. I rose up Christmas morning with a gift, the burning desire to love, really love......to be the cheerleader in someone else's life, to inspire and encourage them to be all that Christ died to make them. And I'm finding that as I give it to others my need is filled! Oh I may have my moments like this morning but it is temporary, and just a reminder that I have to find someone to uplift today. For as I do, I am lifted up too. Are you lonely? Visit someone. Are you discouraged? Encourage someone. Do you desire unconditional love? Then give it without condition. As you do you will be met by the One who fills all in all. Ephesians 1:23
          Be blessed today beloved.