Today was my day off....I slept in, had time with the Lord and went to lunch with friends. During my time with the Lord, I am reading Elizabeth Elliot's book, "A Path Through Suffering". It is laden with stories and truths that challenge me in the midst of my grief and remind me I am not alone in it. One of the things that I desire most and have asked the Lord for is to give me glimpses of heaven. John & I were so close that I ache and wonder, does he think of me? Does he miss me? (probably not since he is with Jesus)....but more than that is the desire to be with him when I get there...to share heaven with him. I miss him so much, we shared over 30 wonderful years together, we went through very happy times and difficult times and weathered them always together.....so again this morning I asked the Lord to please let me see into heaven....well later in the day I ran into a brother who lost a loved one and he directed me to a book about a 4 year old's journey to heaven. I immediately bought the book at Walmart and have sat reading the rest of the day....just to get a glimpse... Why?...... because someone I love is there.....
One day as I gazed out the window sighing the Lord told me... John is not dead. Do not say he is dead for he is not. Then this scripture rose inside me... "I am the resurrection and the life....he who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25,26. He was asking if I believed this...if I do then I must believe that heaven is a real place, not a far away dream but very real....
Again, I remember a card I got with a Thomas Kincaid painting of stone steps leading to a beautiful garden....all of a sudden in my heart I could see John at the top of the steps waiting to lead me to Jesus... .....despite the great loneliness I feel, and I feel it deeply, I know that heaven is real, I choose to believe even though I don't see just yet but sometimes the Lord does allow me to get glimpses.......
