As the fall is coming quickly to an end, and I mean quickly....the days are getting shorter and shorter. With the cold comes the desire to hibernate ;). It had become harder and harder to get up in the morning and I would grab my iphone to wake me up in bed. I could hear the Lord (but tried to convince myself that it wasn't the Lord) say, "I want to be first". My time with Him was getting shorter and shorter and I was suffering for it. The heaviness that I have been feeling since John's parting only got more difficult. Then one of the elders shared how the Lord was disciplining him since the first thing he did in the morning was put on his computer. The Lord was saying the same thing, "I want to be first." . I was completely convicted, went home and resigned out of every game and got up an hour earlier. I wish I could tell you that the Lord made it easy but that is not the case. When I rise, my body shouts, "NO, GO BACK TO BED!". It is even still dark outside. But I have been fighting through because of my deep need, and the thirst the Lord has put in me for His voice. He makes me wait till the end to speak many times. I hear, "will you not wait with me one hour?", "Are you hungry enough to stay still?" After a few weeks I began to hear Him again more clearly and He has been confirming it as well. Here is an example.....
In the last two years I have heard this verse quoted to me so many times I've lost count. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." While I had a moment of pause during the day, I felt the Lord open it up to me. He told me that the tears are not the seed for sowing. It was for those who are going through difficult hard places and find themselves broken and weeping, to not stop sowing the good seed. There are many who stop all sowing, they discontinue fellowship, worship, study of the Word.They stop listening to the Lord and obeying what He directs. They do not minister or encourage anyone. They are in pain and it has taken over their lives. We will always have pain and trial in this life....this is not our home. But there is one thing we can do, we can continue to speak God's Word and encourage each other to seek Him and wait on Him. From this comes life, eternal life and it brings forth a harvest. After He spoke this to me, I woke up the next morning and He directed me to one of my devotional books (which I never read in the morning, only in the evening). There are 365 devotions in it and thousands of scriptures to write, but there in print was the verse,"they that sow in tears shall reap in joy" and the same explanation almost word for word that he spoke to me! I HEAR You Lord! Yes Lord, I will continue to sow. I continue daily to rise early and wait on Him, desiring so deeply to hear Him and let Him fill me. I cannot survive without Him. We must press in! We need the Holy Spirit just as much as the early church did. He is our teacher, guide, and the power behind this kingdom life. Here is the verse and its next in full...
"Those that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes to and fro weeping, bearing a bag of seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with shouts of joy bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5,6
There is reward in the seeking. There are sooooo many distractions, we have to fight them off. But once we are in, we will be refreshed, empowered and our hearts will be filled once again full of seed for sowing into the lives of others. I cannot give what I don't have....... So the time alone with Him is vital. I am getting up now expectant of what the Lord will speak, hungering and watching .......
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I do hope. My soul waits for the
Lord more than the watchman who waits for the morning, yes more than those who wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5,6
He is there waiting for you.........................
