I know you don't hear from me as much. It is because I am working on a bigger project and it will take much of my concentrated time and effort. I must stayed focused so it will come to fruition.
But today I would like to mention something that came to me today as I was preparing for Sunday meeting. I depend greatly on the Lord's constant love for me. It is the one thing that keeps me going everyday. I had a devoted love in my husband and it fed me for many years. Now that he is with the Lord in heaven, I find myself alone without that constant support and love from one so close to me. People are not God, they cannot fill the void in us created when sin separates us from Him. Along the way we encounter some blessings but they are temporary. We still feel the vast emptiness that cries out for more. We all seek to be loved and accepted without the fear of rejection. I have found that love in my Lord, He has never disappointed me or given up on me. Even if I am rejected by man, I have One who will never leave me nor forsake me. I was His enemy, and He made the first move to bridge the gap that separated us. I did not seek Him, but He sought me, and He found me, bound in sin and chained in slavery. He came to me.....and I received Him........
You & I have the choice now to be like Him. We can bridge the gap that separates us from others. We can make the first move to reach out to another. I am finding that the only way I can do this is to be satisfied in His constant love for me. To do for another without expectation or demand takes a security that is not of this world. I am loved, I am accepted, I choose to move out from that security and point others to it. If we will keep this ever before us we will not be shaken by rejection or disappointment. We won't find a cave and hide in it but we will rest in knowing that Jesus can't love us more than He does right now. There is nothing you will do that will make Him love you more......what you do is only the response to His abounding love for you! When I rise in the morning I seek Him so I can get that massive void filled with Him and from there face the world. No matter what you did in your past or what you will do for Him now, always remember....He made the first move.......
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
A Star...A Stable
I heard a great message on Sunday telling again the story of the birth of our Lord but I heard it in such a different way than ever before. And today I felt the Lord bring to me insight into a very important truth we need for our lives.
Some wisemen or learned sages from a distant country had been watching the heavens and saw that a "new star" appeared. We don't know what it is they saw, but it lit up the sky. Searching out why they were led to believe a new king was born. We don't know how long it took, some scholars say two years maybe, yet they travelled on. When their search came to an end they found a simple dwelling, a couple of small means and a babe. What they expected to find I do not know, but I can only guess. A king would be found in a palace or his parents would be rich and affluent, someone very important in the eyes of man. They did not find this and I am sure they were surprised.
God keeps doing things like that, we read it in scripture all the time. He chooses the path that man in his own reasoning would not choose. We read about the strangest of characters in the strangest of circumstances, rejected by men but chosen by God. Why pick them? Why indeed.....maybe when someone has little to lean on and no agenda they are easily led by the Spirit of God. When we have all our eggs in a basket, all our ducks in a row, everything carefully planned out we don't leave room for God to do anything radical in our lives. How many times I thought I knew what the next step was in my life, how God's plan was plain to me and the end predictable. How many times I've had to throw out those plans because the Lord had something different in mind. When John and I left the ministry (as men call it) we had no idea what was ahead but we felt the Lord's leading and we were willing to lose everything to follow Him. As we sought Him daily in prayer and worship we felt a stirring and shared our dreams with each other. I have not shared this yet but two weeks before John went home, we went to the Women's prison as we did monthly. As we drove down Route 114 I looked at the trees and heard this.....You both will go down a path neither of you have travelled before. It will seem so foreign but you must go there....."
At the prison again the Holy Spirit came upon me during worship which caused me to I weep softly. ( I never wept at the prison for we are told to be strict and strong). I had a message prepared but He changed it right in the middle of the singing. Scripture and all was made known to me. He had me share on brokeness. How the notorious sinner came weeping and fell at Jesus feet to wash them with her tears and wipe them with her hair. We spoke about true repentance and understanding our need of a savior. The women responded and some wept as we prayed to receive the Lord Jesus.
As we drove away again the Holy Spirit came upon me and said, "You will go through a time of brokeness." I said in my spirit, but Lord I am so happy, it can't get better than this. As I sat beside my husband I thought of how blessed I was to be walking beside such a godly partner.
Two weeks later I knew what He meant. My secure world (as I saw it) was shattered, all my dreams destroyed.......and what I thought was my life came to an end.........but His world, His dreams, His life was not and if I am His then His life is my life. I began following a star a long long time ago, I thought I knew what I would find.....
If I stayed with the map of my making I would be in despair, without hope. But willing to be led where I have not gone before, to be led by the Morningstar to the place where He dwells, well that will bring an adventure of kingdom proportions. I don't want to miss it. I want to be right in the midst of it, right in the middle of His story.
What an adventure those wisemen of old had. They had it because they were willing to go. They left their comfortable homes and lives and what seemed crazy to all their friends was the greatest experience of their lifetime. If we are willing, we can experience it too.....lets follow His star where it may lead.......Let us hear what the Spirit is saying.....
Some wisemen or learned sages from a distant country had been watching the heavens and saw that a "new star" appeared. We don't know what it is they saw, but it lit up the sky. Searching out why they were led to believe a new king was born. We don't know how long it took, some scholars say two years maybe, yet they travelled on. When their search came to an end they found a simple dwelling, a couple of small means and a babe. What they expected to find I do not know, but I can only guess. A king would be found in a palace or his parents would be rich and affluent, someone very important in the eyes of man. They did not find this and I am sure they were surprised.
God keeps doing things like that, we read it in scripture all the time. He chooses the path that man in his own reasoning would not choose. We read about the strangest of characters in the strangest of circumstances, rejected by men but chosen by God. Why pick them? Why indeed.....maybe when someone has little to lean on and no agenda they are easily led by the Spirit of God. When we have all our eggs in a basket, all our ducks in a row, everything carefully planned out we don't leave room for God to do anything radical in our lives. How many times I thought I knew what the next step was in my life, how God's plan was plain to me and the end predictable. How many times I've had to throw out those plans because the Lord had something different in mind. When John and I left the ministry (as men call it) we had no idea what was ahead but we felt the Lord's leading and we were willing to lose everything to follow Him. As we sought Him daily in prayer and worship we felt a stirring and shared our dreams with each other. I have not shared this yet but two weeks before John went home, we went to the Women's prison as we did monthly. As we drove down Route 114 I looked at the trees and heard this.....You both will go down a path neither of you have travelled before. It will seem so foreign but you must go there....."
At the prison again the Holy Spirit came upon me during worship which caused me to I weep softly. ( I never wept at the prison for we are told to be strict and strong). I had a message prepared but He changed it right in the middle of the singing. Scripture and all was made known to me. He had me share on brokeness. How the notorious sinner came weeping and fell at Jesus feet to wash them with her tears and wipe them with her hair. We spoke about true repentance and understanding our need of a savior. The women responded and some wept as we prayed to receive the Lord Jesus.
As we drove away again the Holy Spirit came upon me and said, "You will go through a time of brokeness." I said in my spirit, but Lord I am so happy, it can't get better than this. As I sat beside my husband I thought of how blessed I was to be walking beside such a godly partner.
Two weeks later I knew what He meant. My secure world (as I saw it) was shattered, all my dreams destroyed.......and what I thought was my life came to an end.........but His world, His dreams, His life was not and if I am His then His life is my life. I began following a star a long long time ago, I thought I knew what I would find.....
If I stayed with the map of my making I would be in despair, without hope. But willing to be led where I have not gone before, to be led by the Morningstar to the place where He dwells, well that will bring an adventure of kingdom proportions. I don't want to miss it. I want to be right in the midst of it, right in the middle of His story.
What an adventure those wisemen of old had. They had it because they were willing to go. They left their comfortable homes and lives and what seemed crazy to all their friends was the greatest experience of their lifetime. If we are willing, we can experience it too.....lets follow His star where it may lead.......Let us hear what the Spirit is saying.....
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Crucified But Alive
Hello beloved,
It has been a difficult time emotionally lately. The season bringing on so many memories of years gone by, it is also my first Christmas living alone. No tree for me, I put up my Nativity in the window for others to see. No smells of baking from my daughter with Christmas music filling the air. I played some the other day and tears kept clouding my eyes.
Today during worship I saw in a vision my hands were pierced as I raised them to the Lord. Then this verse rose up in me,
"I have been crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ lives in me. And the life that I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God Who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
As I took this in I cried out to the Lord in my heart, Oh Lord, let it be so! No living for myself, but laying my life down for the One who laid His down for me. Oh how I did not seek it, nor do I deserve such a love but it is mine.
I had it demonstrated to me in human form for over 30 years. My husband who laid his life down daily for the Lord by loving the way Christ does was my greatest teacher. How I pray that I can continue in what I have been shown. What fulfillment is there in living for oneself. The Lord showed us the way of greatest joy..... LOVE. He IS Love!
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
I Corinthians 13:4-8
This is what we have been shown, this is what we must show others. We cannot do this in our own strength, but we are not alone, Christ lives in us! And the life that lives in us is the same one that laid it down for the world.
A young man shared the message today. He is going to be married in less than a month and the Lord is challenging him to prefer his bride, to lay his once selfish attitudes down for her. It was so refreshing to hear how the Lord was specific in dealing with him. His honesty was inspiring and it reminded me how my husband still called me his bride right before he went home to be with the Lord. When men came to him about wife troubles he would challenge them with the call of the head of a household. He'd say, "You want to be the head? Like Christ is the head of the church? Then lay down your life and die...." This does not give the woman headship, it gives her an example to do the same.
I was led daily to the cross by John. May we go there daily and lead others there as well......if we do the world will know Him.
In a day of hurried angry souls, let us remember (as the young man said today) we are His ambassadors. You and I have been given the greatest gift, lets pass it on.......
It has been a difficult time emotionally lately. The season bringing on so many memories of years gone by, it is also my first Christmas living alone. No tree for me, I put up my Nativity in the window for others to see. No smells of baking from my daughter with Christmas music filling the air. I played some the other day and tears kept clouding my eyes.
Today during worship I saw in a vision my hands were pierced as I raised them to the Lord. Then this verse rose up in me,
"I have been crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ lives in me. And the life that I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God Who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
As I took this in I cried out to the Lord in my heart, Oh Lord, let it be so! No living for myself, but laying my life down for the One who laid His down for me. Oh how I did not seek it, nor do I deserve such a love but it is mine.
I had it demonstrated to me in human form for over 30 years. My husband who laid his life down daily for the Lord by loving the way Christ does was my greatest teacher. How I pray that I can continue in what I have been shown. What fulfillment is there in living for oneself. The Lord showed us the way of greatest joy..... LOVE. He IS Love!
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
I Corinthians 13:4-8
This is what we have been shown, this is what we must show others. We cannot do this in our own strength, but we are not alone, Christ lives in us! And the life that lives in us is the same one that laid it down for the world.
A young man shared the message today. He is going to be married in less than a month and the Lord is challenging him to prefer his bride, to lay his once selfish attitudes down for her. It was so refreshing to hear how the Lord was specific in dealing with him. His honesty was inspiring and it reminded me how my husband still called me his bride right before he went home to be with the Lord. When men came to him about wife troubles he would challenge them with the call of the head of a household. He'd say, "You want to be the head? Like Christ is the head of the church? Then lay down your life and die...." This does not give the woman headship, it gives her an example to do the same.
I was led daily to the cross by John. May we go there daily and lead others there as well......if we do the world will know Him.
In a day of hurried angry souls, let us remember (as the young man said today) we are His ambassadors. You and I have been given the greatest gift, lets pass it on.......
Sunday, November 11, 2012
A New Creation
Hello my friends, I am so glad that I finally have a desktop computer. It has been difficult to write on my netbook all these months. My son went with me yesterday to pick it out and he set me up. How grateful I am for my children.
Today I want to write to you about how full my heart is. I go early to my fellowship to pray before the meeting. It is a quiet time to be still and empty our hearts and minds of any clutter that will keep us from truly focusing on the Lord. I have to do it everyday because I have a mind that will keep on going even when my body stops. My thoughts can even keep me from sleeping, eating and, hearing. If I can describe it, it is like riding a train and having to jump off to slow down. So quiet and meditation in the Lord is vital for me. As we began to worship I was lifted to another place, outside this world. I sang with my whole heart and praised with earnest. I've been studying and reading on the Holy Spirit, and Oh how I am grateful for Him. When I feel I cannot go on, He comes to me and lifts me to this other place that is beyond my human strength or understanding. Like the refreshing wind after a hot spell, or finding cool water in an arid desert, or like the light of a fire on a dark night, He is all this and so much more.
A young sister rose up and shared the Word of the Lord and danced. Oh how beautiful and uplifting and encouraging was her word and the dance was a reflection of the deep work of the Lord in her and in us. It does not matter the age of the person in front of me, I am always amazed at God's grace coming to me through them. Whether they have known the Lord for years or just met Him, I am tearfully grateful for God's mighty work shown through them. Just stop and think where you came from, where were you when the Lord saved you? In what condition? Oh how patient He is with us, and how committed He is to us. We never have to worry about Him giving up on us when we have blown it. How many times I have failed I could never recount, but this I know, my God is for me and His number one aim is to make me like Him. I am not who I was........
When we open ourselves to His Spirit, He does what no man can do. I've seen miraculous transformations as He pours His Spirit in a human life. The joy and peace and love is beyond imagination. It is not something that is learned, or counseled into being. It is totally spiritual, not produced by human hands or the cleverest of minds. I love to watch it happen, it never gets old to me. To see a soul who was once in torment, bound in sin, selfish and rebellious in nature, turn to the Living Savior Jesus Christ becoming a new creature. Are we perfect? No, but we are definitely not who we were before. We are born again, not of this world. Our desires and passions have changed, our direction in life has changed, our understanding is changed, even our countenance is changed. We begin this new life with the greatest power in the universe within us.
Now we can go out into this dark world, holding out this glorious hope. We will meet with hatred and opposition from those who want to debate our faith. You can go the route of arguing doctrine, splitting hairs on theology but they cannot deny a changed heart and life. Our testimony is a powerful demonstration of His Presence. When was the last time you shared yours? I read an email today I received as a result of John's passing. It came from someone I had been sharing the Gospel with. He came to the memorial service and gave his life to Christ. He was moved by the testimonies of John's life and desired to experience it himself. What joy I had when I read this! There is only one thing that gives me more joy than being filled with His Holy Spirit, it is to see another soul saved and filled.
Do not forget where you came from, do not forget what Christ Jesus has done for you. Be filled daily with His Holy Spirit and overflow on another soul and watch the miracle happen again......
Today I want to write to you about how full my heart is. I go early to my fellowship to pray before the meeting. It is a quiet time to be still and empty our hearts and minds of any clutter that will keep us from truly focusing on the Lord. I have to do it everyday because I have a mind that will keep on going even when my body stops. My thoughts can even keep me from sleeping, eating and, hearing. If I can describe it, it is like riding a train and having to jump off to slow down. So quiet and meditation in the Lord is vital for me. As we began to worship I was lifted to another place, outside this world. I sang with my whole heart and praised with earnest. I've been studying and reading on the Holy Spirit, and Oh how I am grateful for Him. When I feel I cannot go on, He comes to me and lifts me to this other place that is beyond my human strength or understanding. Like the refreshing wind after a hot spell, or finding cool water in an arid desert, or like the light of a fire on a dark night, He is all this and so much more.
A young sister rose up and shared the Word of the Lord and danced. Oh how beautiful and uplifting and encouraging was her word and the dance was a reflection of the deep work of the Lord in her and in us. It does not matter the age of the person in front of me, I am always amazed at God's grace coming to me through them. Whether they have known the Lord for years or just met Him, I am tearfully grateful for God's mighty work shown through them. Just stop and think where you came from, where were you when the Lord saved you? In what condition? Oh how patient He is with us, and how committed He is to us. We never have to worry about Him giving up on us when we have blown it. How many times I have failed I could never recount, but this I know, my God is for me and His number one aim is to make me like Him. I am not who I was........
When we open ourselves to His Spirit, He does what no man can do. I've seen miraculous transformations as He pours His Spirit in a human life. The joy and peace and love is beyond imagination. It is not something that is learned, or counseled into being. It is totally spiritual, not produced by human hands or the cleverest of minds. I love to watch it happen, it never gets old to me. To see a soul who was once in torment, bound in sin, selfish and rebellious in nature, turn to the Living Savior Jesus Christ becoming a new creature. Are we perfect? No, but we are definitely not who we were before. We are born again, not of this world. Our desires and passions have changed, our direction in life has changed, our understanding is changed, even our countenance is changed. We begin this new life with the greatest power in the universe within us.
Now we can go out into this dark world, holding out this glorious hope. We will meet with hatred and opposition from those who want to debate our faith. You can go the route of arguing doctrine, splitting hairs on theology but they cannot deny a changed heart and life. Our testimony is a powerful demonstration of His Presence. When was the last time you shared yours? I read an email today I received as a result of John's passing. It came from someone I had been sharing the Gospel with. He came to the memorial service and gave his life to Christ. He was moved by the testimonies of John's life and desired to experience it himself. What joy I had when I read this! There is only one thing that gives me more joy than being filled with His Holy Spirit, it is to see another soul saved and filled.
Do not forget where you came from, do not forget what Christ Jesus has done for you. Be filled daily with His Holy Spirit and overflow on another soul and watch the miracle happen again......
Sunday, October 21, 2012
More Than The Watchman
As the fall is coming quickly to an end, and I mean quickly....the days are getting shorter and shorter. With the cold comes the desire to hibernate ;). It had become harder and harder to get up in the morning and I would grab my iphone to wake me up in bed. I could hear the Lord (but tried to convince myself that it wasn't the Lord) say, "I want to be first". My time with Him was getting shorter and shorter and I was suffering for it. The heaviness that I have been feeling since John's parting only got more difficult. Then one of the elders shared how the Lord was disciplining him since the first thing he did in the morning was put on his computer. The Lord was saying the same thing, "I want to be first." . I was completely convicted, went home and resigned out of every game and got up an hour earlier. I wish I could tell you that the Lord made it easy but that is not the case. When I rise, my body shouts, "NO, GO BACK TO BED!". It is even still dark outside. But I have been fighting through because of my deep need, and the thirst the Lord has put in me for His voice. He makes me wait till the end to speak many times. I hear, "will you not wait with me one hour?", "Are you hungry enough to stay still?" After a few weeks I began to hear Him again more clearly and He has been confirming it as well. Here is an example.....
In the last two years I have heard this verse quoted to me so many times I've lost count. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." While I had a moment of pause during the day, I felt the Lord open it up to me. He told me that the tears are not the seed for sowing. It was for those who are going through difficult hard places and find themselves broken and weeping, to not stop sowing the good seed. There are many who stop all sowing, they discontinue fellowship, worship, study of the Word.They stop listening to the Lord and obeying what He directs. They do not minister or encourage anyone. They are in pain and it has taken over their lives. We will always have pain and trial in this life....this is not our home. But there is one thing we can do, we can continue to speak God's Word and encourage each other to seek Him and wait on Him. From this comes life, eternal life and it brings forth a harvest. After He spoke this to me, I woke up the next morning and He directed me to one of my devotional books (which I never read in the morning, only in the evening). There are 365 devotions in it and thousands of scriptures to write, but there in print was the verse,"they that sow in tears shall reap in joy" and the same explanation almost word for word that he spoke to me! I HEAR You Lord! Yes Lord, I will continue to sow. I continue daily to rise early and wait on Him, desiring so deeply to hear Him and let Him fill me. I cannot survive without Him. We must press in! We need the Holy Spirit just as much as the early church did. He is our teacher, guide, and the power behind this kingdom life. Here is the verse and its next in full...
"Those that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes to and fro weeping, bearing a bag of seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with shouts of joy bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5,6
There is reward in the seeking. There are sooooo many distractions, we have to fight them off. But once we are in, we will be refreshed, empowered and our hearts will be filled once again full of seed for sowing into the lives of others. I cannot give what I don't have....... So the time alone with Him is vital. I am getting up now expectant of what the Lord will speak, hungering and watching .......
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I do hope. My soul waits for the
Lord more than the watchman who waits for the morning, yes more than those who wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5,6
He is there waiting for you.........................
In the last two years I have heard this verse quoted to me so many times I've lost count. "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." While I had a moment of pause during the day, I felt the Lord open it up to me. He told me that the tears are not the seed for sowing. It was for those who are going through difficult hard places and find themselves broken and weeping, to not stop sowing the good seed. There are many who stop all sowing, they discontinue fellowship, worship, study of the Word.They stop listening to the Lord and obeying what He directs. They do not minister or encourage anyone. They are in pain and it has taken over their lives. We will always have pain and trial in this life....this is not our home. But there is one thing we can do, we can continue to speak God's Word and encourage each other to seek Him and wait on Him. From this comes life, eternal life and it brings forth a harvest. After He spoke this to me, I woke up the next morning and He directed me to one of my devotional books (which I never read in the morning, only in the evening). There are 365 devotions in it and thousands of scriptures to write, but there in print was the verse,"they that sow in tears shall reap in joy" and the same explanation almost word for word that he spoke to me! I HEAR You Lord! Yes Lord, I will continue to sow. I continue daily to rise early and wait on Him, desiring so deeply to hear Him and let Him fill me. I cannot survive without Him. We must press in! We need the Holy Spirit just as much as the early church did. He is our teacher, guide, and the power behind this kingdom life. Here is the verse and its next in full...
"Those that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes to and fro weeping, bearing a bag of seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with shouts of joy bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5,6
There is reward in the seeking. There are sooooo many distractions, we have to fight them off. But once we are in, we will be refreshed, empowered and our hearts will be filled once again full of seed for sowing into the lives of others. I cannot give what I don't have....... So the time alone with Him is vital. I am getting up now expectant of what the Lord will speak, hungering and watching .......
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I do hope. My soul waits for the
Lord more than the watchman who waits for the morning, yes more than those who wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5,6
He is there waiting for you.........................
Monday, October 8, 2012
Not Alone
I know it has been awhile since I wrote.......I always said I would write more when it settled down. Well now it has. My daughter is married and it was a glorious day full of the blessing of the Lord. The weather report looked bleak and with an outside ceremony I heard many saying, what is plan B? Well I prayed and had peace, and though the day before was rainy all day, on the 9th of September the sun came out. As my daughter and her new husband had communion together a tape played with my husband singing "Oh the Blood". There were many tears but as I watched I thought of the legacy my dear John left me. Here I was a wild and crazy girl of 18, very much in love with Jesus with no interest in dating. There was John so steady and peaceful but also very much in love with Jesus. So naturally did our friendship happen and as we spent many hours in prayer and worship together our love grew for one another. I never dreamed I would be the wife of such a wonderful man. I never dreamed I would be the mother of 3, and the grandmother of 5! And knowing I was always loved, so loved by him.The pain of separation remains always and it increases when a person thinks they are helping me by suggesting I date again. I don't even see myself as single, I don't feel free in that sense. I have always belonged to Jesus, and now I am His even more. All our lives have purpose and are a journey to Him, not a group of random events. We shouldn't be looking for the easiest path, the one that will feed our earthly nature. Our journey is a heavenly one, and every choice presented to us should be submitted to the One who bought us and redeemed us to Himself. John & I prayed and sought the Lord's will. It was His will we marry and serve together. Our relationship was always founded on our love for Jesus Christ, and as we worshiped & prayed together daily we were drawn ever closer. I still hear him and feel him and dream about him. The best way I can describe it is to share what my grandson said one day. I was pointing to a picture of John and telling him that he was in heaven with Jesus. Later I told him Jesus was in his heart and he jumped and pointed to my heart and said, "Pepere". I stopped and thought, "Yes", I said,"Pepere and Jesus live in my heart". What a gift I have been given! As I gazed at my daughter and new son-in-law , my son, his wife and their 4 children, my other son and his son, I felt the wedding band I gave my husband 32 years ago around my neck and thought what a life I have been given. It is not time to look for "another" but in gratefulness live out what time I have left declaring the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I seek the Lord daily for His will to be done in my life more than anything. He comes in His manifest Presence and I am not alone.......Jesus & John will always live with me.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
His Name
With all the wedding plans going on in full swing, it has stirred up many memories. It all seems unbelievable that it was me planning my wedding 32 years ago to my beloved John. It has all gone by so fast! There is one memory that I shared with a friend recently and it stirred something in me and I would like to share it with you.....
The day of the wedding as John and I drove off to our honeymoon, I noticed a gift on the back seat of our car. I asked John if he decided to bring one of the wedding presents with us to open and he just smiled. So I asked, "Is it a present for me?", He answered yes. I was surprised with all the hubbub of the wedding that he got me a present at all. He reached out back and gave it to me eagerly. I opened it and found a beautiful leather bound bible with the name, Celeste E Fortin, engraved on it. (I keep it by my bed) I was so blessed and he was too for he was so excited to give me his name, Fortin. Often in the years that followed he would greet me with, "Well Helllooo Mrs. Fortin" and I hearing his voice say it would respond in love. Even at 30 years he would call me his bride. I felt so privileged to be called Mrs. John Fortin and will forever be grateful that he shared it with me.
So this is what came to me in prayer yesterday. We who are in Christ are called His bride and He has given us His Name, Jesus! With that name come so many privileges. We can call on Him at any time to meet any need. We can sing it in worship, we can speak it in prayer, we can share it in our witness, we can call it in power to overcome the enemy......It gives Him so much Joy to give us His name.....
I have said that name so often..... Jesus is alive and He will forever be my savior, my rock, my healer, my deliverer, my hiding place, my hope, my Beloved One who loves me more than I can comprehend. I will not have an earthly love again that would ever replace the one I shared with John, that I know because I have a heavenly one that fills my loneliness like no other. No matter what I face the rest of my life, Jesus Christ will be there for me, my covering and husband forever. Now more than ever I realize my need and the gift of His Name......
The day of the wedding as John and I drove off to our honeymoon, I noticed a gift on the back seat of our car. I asked John if he decided to bring one of the wedding presents with us to open and he just smiled. So I asked, "Is it a present for me?", He answered yes. I was surprised with all the hubbub of the wedding that he got me a present at all. He reached out back and gave it to me eagerly. I opened it and found a beautiful leather bound bible with the name, Celeste E Fortin, engraved on it. (I keep it by my bed) I was so blessed and he was too for he was so excited to give me his name, Fortin. Often in the years that followed he would greet me with, "Well Helllooo Mrs. Fortin" and I hearing his voice say it would respond in love. Even at 30 years he would call me his bride. I felt so privileged to be called Mrs. John Fortin and will forever be grateful that he shared it with me.
So this is what came to me in prayer yesterday. We who are in Christ are called His bride and He has given us His Name, Jesus! With that name come so many privileges. We can call on Him at any time to meet any need. We can sing it in worship, we can speak it in prayer, we can share it in our witness, we can call it in power to overcome the enemy......It gives Him so much Joy to give us His name.....
I have said that name so often..... Jesus is alive and He will forever be my savior, my rock, my healer, my deliverer, my hiding place, my hope, my Beloved One who loves me more than I can comprehend. I will not have an earthly love again that would ever replace the one I shared with John, that I know because I have a heavenly one that fills my loneliness like no other. No matter what I face the rest of my life, Jesus Christ will be there for me, my covering and husband forever. Now more than ever I realize my need and the gift of His Name......
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