I went over some friends house last night and as we were fellowshipping I shared something that I haven't shared with all of you yet. It stirred in me again this morning during worship, and I responded with the usual tears flowing down. Sometimes I know others are thinking that I am crying over my loss or my burdens without John, but this time as many other times in my life I was weeping because of the Lord's love for me. Yesterday at the end of my time alone with God I knelt before Him and lifted all my burdens to Him and felt His comfort and strength. His concern and care are the one thing that keep me going, without it I would be overcome with grief. So for now let me convey my story....
Some of you know that this past October I went on a cruise. My husband bought it for our 30th anniversary. This was not a little gift, especially since my husband hated cruises and got seasick easily. He did it just for me and he got our good friends who celebrated their 30th to join us in the venture. Well since my husband went home last July, I had to decide if I would go or cancel. I knew if I cancelled, our friends would probably do the same. My husband worked hard to plan the whole event so I decided to go and bring my good friend Joann as my partner. While on the ship I was so overcome with grief that the chapel became my place of privacy and weeping often. I did not want my friends to feel sorry and take away their fun and enjoyment so this became a frequent place to hide. My husband picked this week because both our birthdays fell in it so this became very hard to take as well. We met a young Philipino girl who worked on the ship and became very friendly with her. Everyday we would stop to visit with her when we went to the buffet on the top deck and her smile and sweetness was comforting. Apparently Joann had shared with her my story and she was moved. On Thursday which was my birthday we did not go to the buffet, my friends took me to the fanciest restaurant on board and went all out to lift my spirits with a wonderful gourmet meal with presents and cake. The next evening which was our last night on board, we went to the buffet as usual and there was our young friend looking very anxious to see us. I went to sit down at a table and all of a sudden she was standing over me with a rose, and she began to speak........"Miss Celeste, I want you to know that I looked for you yesterday, I wanted to give you this for your birthday. I feel you, I really feel you. (She was crying at this point..) I don't have much to give but I will give you what I can....." Then right there in the Cafe in front of a crowd of people she began to sing the song of the Lord, yes she sang...... about His plan for me, how He created me and was pleased with me and most of all about His great love for me.....I began to weep, my friends were all weeping, then she embraced me like Jesus would embrace me. I will never forget that moment. In this luxurious floating hotel that had every comfort a man could want I could not find solace for my aching heart. I had spent the whole week in so much pain I did not care about these luxuries. But right in the midst of all this, I found nothing more luxurious as my God's love for me. It was as though Jesus and I were the only ones in the room. How overwhelmingly beautiful and lifting this was to my spirit. I will always remember that He did this for me, yes for me! As I relay this to you, I am in awe again and want you to know that there is nothing in this life as rich as God's love for you........even in the midst of your greatest pain you will find it pouring out......I have..........My Lord's luxurious, unending love.........
I love You my Lord Jesus Christ!
