As I sit in my sun room this morning, it is anything but sunny outside. While this storm blows around me I have been spending quality time with the Lord. Sometimes being "stuck" at home with very little happening is a good thing. It causes us to quiet ourselves and maybe if we let it, bring us to desire a deeper experience of the Lord's Presence. I believe the Lord allows the "storms" of this life to come to us for a reason. It was Israel's constant weakness to forget the Lord in the "good" times. That is why He would allow them to suffer in some way so they would repent and seek Him again. It was the Lord's mercy that did this, not His condemnation. It is the Lord's mercy that allows us now to face storms.
"Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You. When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:1,2
I use my husband's bible now and he wrote next to this verse, "David's need drove him to seek God".
How true I have found this statement to be. In my deepest pain, He has caused me to seek Him like never before. I have kept the constant discipline of spending time alone with the Lord, but in my times of greatest distress I have been pressed to go much deeper. Oh, if I could take you to this place!..... but you must go there yourself.....
One of the greatest lacks in the body today is the desire to pray. It is the symptom of a greater lack......faith. We don't believe the Lord is listening, or that He will act. We believe in physical action above spiritual action. How many times I have rushed ahead of the Lord to "do" only to fall on my face and realize I made a mess of things. This society is used to a "high-speed", quick response lifestyle, "no lines, no waiting", no time. We have filled our schedules, until we are running about saying quick prayers as we go....(somewhat like a drive through...). Yet with all this activity, we are missing so much. When the Lord was in the garden of Gethsemene He challenged His disciples, "What? Could you not watch with Me one hour?" Matthew 26:40, What? One whole hour? Really Lord?.......
Here in the Lord Jesus' darkest hour, He sought His Father........if our Lord did, shouldn't we? He prayed for us! And He was heard and answered.....
Do we believe in this dark hour that our Lord hears us when we pray? I can say with all my heart a resounding, YES! In the midst of my valley of grief, I have cried out to the Lord....and He has heard me.Why? Because I am special? No! Because I believe He hears me and will answer. Because I wait on Him, and believe the Word that says, "Ask and you shall receive, Seek and you shall find, Knock and it will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7
I am in a place that the Lord has put me, a very needy place. Without Him, I cannot survive. I was a very happy wife of a very loving husband. He took care of me, and served me for 30 years. He was my constant companion, my prayer & worship partner and my teacher. Now I am a widow, facing a lot of challenges and missing my husband beyond words has caused me to seek the face of God. When I thought I would drown for grief, He has reached down and pulled me up. One evening as I lay upon my bed crying for hours, I felt the darkness and depression of the late night enter my soul. It is during these hours that the enemy wants me to dwell on my husband's last breath of life here in our bedroom. In the midst of this, I begged God to deliver me. I was not strong enough to fight this alone, I needed prayer. All of a sudden the phone rang, (remember it was very late) and there on the line was a brother who felt the Lord tell him that I was in distress. All I could do was weep, He began to pray and worship, and pray and worship. This went on for quite a while. He did not pray a "quick fix" prayer and hang up. He battled for me as his family joined him. He prayed for ministering angels to come to me and aid me, after a time I could feel them lifting my arms and holding me up. A peace and comfort came over me, and I slept in the arms of the Lord that night. Thank you Lord for those that listen and obey. Prayer is important, it is not a religious past-time. It is a real work, and it accomplishes so much. John felt that call to prayer more than any other work he did. He fasted often and prayed daily for the Lord to move in His church. I believe he was heard, I believe he did his greatest work in the closet of prayer. He believed that you needed to bathe everything in it.
" .....In everything by prayer..."Phil.4:6
I believe the fruit of his ministry here was a direct result of his unseen ministry of prayer for you & I. I want to continue that......I want to bathe everything in prayer. I want to hear above all the noise of this life the voice of the bridegroom calling me to His chambers.....I want to believe that He hears and will answer ..........will you join me? can you give Him at least an hour? He will not disappoint you my friend.....He will meet you there....and you will be divinely ruined. Nothing in this life will satisfy you, as His Presence does. The way you look at life will be changed, your spiritual eyes will be opened and you will want to pray. You will desire to come and spend time alone with Him.
"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my
rock and my salvation." Psalm 61:5,6
Do you hear Him? He is calling you right now.....
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I Belong
At Sunday morning meeting I had a wonderful experience. When my husband & I stepped back from full-time ministry we began fellowshipping with a small group of believers. If we went to a meeting at the building we sat out back and laid low but over these few years we built up some relationships. When John went home to be with the Lord, the world as I knew it totally changed. I was in such shock and pain that I needed someone with me all the time. My family and friends were there to keep me going but also the church. It has been an emotionally difficult year but I can write that the Lord has shown me such overwhelming compassion. Whenever I am overcome with grief by facing my everyday duties without my husband, the Lord sends relief. Each time I fall apart something divine comes my way...... a phone call, a prayer, physical help, financial help, encouragement. I have had so many answers to prayer I have lost count.
In the heart of every human is the desire to belong, to be loved and cherished. The Lord put that in us when He created us in His image. After an army of believers had been at my home recently (they were inside and out fixing it to sell) I sat alone in my sunroom to pray and there Jesus met me and dropped this desire in my heart, to come before this local body of Christ and ask to be a committed member. I didn't sign a roster, take membership classes or pay dues, I just wanted to belong. I have received so much that I need to give back. I am healing, I am growing, and I long to be a living vital part of the Body of Christ like never before. This is not about me, it is about Jesus. This body of believers have shown me Jesus in a viable way. It is not about a building, meetings, money or crowds.....but relationships that give. I have seen so many lay down their lives for me, how can I sit back and just watch.....Oh Lord, help me to show forth Jesus to them. As I stepped forward the elders laid hands on me and prayed, then the whole body came forth and prayed. After this, a sister got a tub of water and washed my feet as another sister went to the piano and led us in the song "I Belong". At this point many were weeping.There is a oneness that can only happen when we are broken and humble before God. Knowing that I am cherished and I am loved by the Lord frees me to love back. Our lives are not our own, we have been bought with a price, with the blood of Jesus Christ. It is not the time to hide, except in Him for then, and only then, we will want to lay down our lives for Him. The teacher that morning didn't know about what I was going to do and delightfully the message was about 2 widows, the one who was able to divinely provide for Elijah (I Kings 17:8), and the other with the jars of oil (II Kings 4). Both were in a difficult place but both were used by God. This verse stood out to me and was made alive by the Holy Spirit...
".......See I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." I Kings 17:9
It does not matter what our circumstances are, where we have come from or what we have or don't have.......God can use us.....the living God! Despite the desperate position these two women found themselves in they obeyed the Lord and miracles happened.
As I sat having my feet washed I could hear that verse and I was stirred. By the Lord's grace I will be a vital, living, giving part of His body. I pray to hear, to believe and to obey.....what greater blessing can we experience......no greater joy, no greater pleasure........
Where does the confidence come from? Why do I have this joy and desire?
Because I Belong.........
In the heart of every human is the desire to belong, to be loved and cherished. The Lord put that in us when He created us in His image. After an army of believers had been at my home recently (they were inside and out fixing it to sell) I sat alone in my sunroom to pray and there Jesus met me and dropped this desire in my heart, to come before this local body of Christ and ask to be a committed member. I didn't sign a roster, take membership classes or pay dues, I just wanted to belong. I have received so much that I need to give back. I am healing, I am growing, and I long to be a living vital part of the Body of Christ like never before. This is not about me, it is about Jesus. This body of believers have shown me Jesus in a viable way. It is not about a building, meetings, money or crowds.....but relationships that give. I have seen so many lay down their lives for me, how can I sit back and just watch.....Oh Lord, help me to show forth Jesus to them. As I stepped forward the elders laid hands on me and prayed, then the whole body came forth and prayed. After this, a sister got a tub of water and washed my feet as another sister went to the piano and led us in the song "I Belong". At this point many were weeping.There is a oneness that can only happen when we are broken and humble before God. Knowing that I am cherished and I am loved by the Lord frees me to love back. Our lives are not our own, we have been bought with a price, with the blood of Jesus Christ. It is not the time to hide, except in Him for then, and only then, we will want to lay down our lives for Him. The teacher that morning didn't know about what I was going to do and delightfully the message was about 2 widows, the one who was able to divinely provide for Elijah (I Kings 17:8), and the other with the jars of oil (II Kings 4). Both were in a difficult place but both were used by God. This verse stood out to me and was made alive by the Holy Spirit...
".......See I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." I Kings 17:9
It does not matter what our circumstances are, where we have come from or what we have or don't have.......God can use us.....the living God! Despite the desperate position these two women found themselves in they obeyed the Lord and miracles happened.
As I sat having my feet washed I could hear that verse and I was stirred. By the Lord's grace I will be a vital, living, giving part of His body. I pray to hear, to believe and to obey.....what greater blessing can we experience......no greater joy, no greater pleasure........
Where does the confidence come from? Why do I have this joy and desire?
Because I Belong.........
Saturday, July 23, 2011
One Year
Tonight I've been crying.....Saturday nights were spent with my husband. As I have been getting the house ready to sell it has been more evident to me that he is not here anymore. As I go through all the house, memories are everywhere and he is everywhere...so I meditated on the Word and felt led to write because it heals my broken heart.
I was led to one of my husbands favorite verses.....
"Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca (weeping), they make it a spring; The rain also covers it with pools (blessings). They go from strength to strength..." Psalm 84:5-7
John spoke often of how our life here was a pilgrimage......only passing through.... how we were created for God and the world was not our home, that we should not be "comfortable" with it. I did not understand as he did. It was obvious to everyone around him that he kept himself for the Lord and wanted to do His will always. I saw it even more these last years......I always thought I would go first, especially since I told the Lord often that I would not survive without John........apparently the Lord was not "listening" and not in agreement.....
It has been one year since John has gone home and I have survived......not without much grace and the Lord's constant care for me.....I have gone on because my heart is set on pilgrimage......I know this is not my home....my heart is elsewhere.... and as I have passed through the valley of weeping I have found pools of blessings that I did not recognize before.....the blessing of His deep comforting Presence, of His abounding provision, and His voice so clear to me.....He is ever speaking....(we just need to stop and listen).....
Since I grieve often.....I seek to be alone often.....there I find His strength. You see I need His Presence to keep going on........ since I see my great lack apart from Him. The hole in my heart can only be healed and filled by Him.........
So on this anniversary as I am pained by the memories of the year before I also look back and marvel... ..... I have survived......and will go on..........thank You Lord Jesus....
I was led to one of my husbands favorite verses.....
"Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca (weeping), they make it a spring; The rain also covers it with pools (blessings). They go from strength to strength..." Psalm 84:5-7
John spoke often of how our life here was a pilgrimage......only passing through.... how we were created for God and the world was not our home, that we should not be "comfortable" with it. I did not understand as he did. It was obvious to everyone around him that he kept himself for the Lord and wanted to do His will always. I saw it even more these last years......I always thought I would go first, especially since I told the Lord often that I would not survive without John........apparently the Lord was not "listening" and not in agreement.....
It has been one year since John has gone home and I have survived......not without much grace and the Lord's constant care for me.....I have gone on because my heart is set on pilgrimage......I know this is not my home....my heart is elsewhere.... and as I have passed through the valley of weeping I have found pools of blessings that I did not recognize before.....the blessing of His deep comforting Presence, of His abounding provision, and His voice so clear to me.....He is ever speaking....(we just need to stop and listen).....
Since I grieve often.....I seek to be alone often.....there I find His strength. You see I need His Presence to keep going on........ since I see my great lack apart from Him. The hole in my heart can only be healed and filled by Him.........
So on this anniversary as I am pained by the memories of the year before I also look back and marvel... ..... I have survived......and will go on..........thank You Lord Jesus....
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Treasure
This past weekend I had a moving sale, (a yard sale with lots of furniture).... I had been preparing for weeks, going through cupboards, drawers, closets and basement.......so much......stuff! We have been in this home for 20 years and I was married almost 31 years ago so it is incredible to me how we let ourselves gather and keep so much. Quite a bit got thrown out and I still have a mountain of junk in my backyard and basement to have picked up. I was so overwhelmed, but determined to "lighten" my load. The night before the sale the weather said, rain, rain and more rain. I went to my room dropped on my bed and prayed for the Lord's favor. The day arrived and it looked cloudy but before I knew it, the clouds parted and it was sunny all day without a drop of rain. I sold quite a bit too. I had antiques, bookcases galore, tables, chairs, etc..... At one time this "stuff" had a value to me but now it was worthless. My friends would price things and I would sell it for less. I just wanted to see it all gone. People came and I sold for almost nothing what had once been important to me. I was told over and over that I was underselling but I just didn't care. I am selling my 4 bedroom house with finished basement to live in a 2 bedroom apartment so most of it has to go. After the sale I gave the rest to a ministry for refugees. It felt so good to not bring anything back into the house.
I write all this to make a point......what is treasure?.......what is your treasure? To me, relationship holds the key. My relationship with the Lord is my most treasured possession. Matthew 13:44,45 Without Him I have nothing and am nothing. He gives me life, love, peace, joy and purpose. I want to simplify my life so I can give myself to relationship with Him and those around me. Since losing my husband, I see the brevity of life here and I see how John laid his life down for me, the children and the church without a thought for himself. How great a teacher he was to me. He showed me how to love and how to live. And now he is experiencing by God's grace the abounding treasure in heaven where moth and rust cannot decay. No yard sales there.....no need for one.....
"And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a beautiful bride prepared for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, 'Look the home of God is now among His people! He will live with them, and they will be His people. God Himself will be with them'."
Revelation 21:2,3
Nothing mentioned here about worldly possessions, only God possessing us and we Him. To end I will share a vivid dream I had. In the dream I was dying and I knew it but I was not afraid. So I closed my eyes and felt myself floating upwards with great speed. I came to a very bright place, almost blinding. Then I saw a fire ball as bright as the sun rush at me. When upon me I realized it was a person for they grabbed me, lifted me up and swung me around and hugged me tight. I awoke in the dream to those around me and declared that it was John. The next morning I was at the Sunday meeting and silently asked the Lord if it was true when all of a sudden my eyes fell immediately on this verse...
"And the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father" Matthew 13:43
I was stunned and in awe and reverence at His great mercy to me. Oh what treasure we have!! The love of our great Father, His Son and His Holy Spirit......and this treasure lives in us!! Oh, how much richer we are then the wealthiest men on earth!.....
Let go of the "stuff" and hold onto your God.......
I write all this to make a point......what is treasure?.......what is your treasure? To me, relationship holds the key. My relationship with the Lord is my most treasured possession. Matthew 13:44,45 Without Him I have nothing and am nothing. He gives me life, love, peace, joy and purpose. I want to simplify my life so I can give myself to relationship with Him and those around me. Since losing my husband, I see the brevity of life here and I see how John laid his life down for me, the children and the church without a thought for himself. How great a teacher he was to me. He showed me how to love and how to live. And now he is experiencing by God's grace the abounding treasure in heaven where moth and rust cannot decay. No yard sales there.....no need for one.....
"And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a beautiful bride prepared for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, 'Look the home of God is now among His people! He will live with them, and they will be His people. God Himself will be with them'."
Revelation 21:2,3
Nothing mentioned here about worldly possessions, only God possessing us and we Him. To end I will share a vivid dream I had. In the dream I was dying and I knew it but I was not afraid. So I closed my eyes and felt myself floating upwards with great speed. I came to a very bright place, almost blinding. Then I saw a fire ball as bright as the sun rush at me. When upon me I realized it was a person for they grabbed me, lifted me up and swung me around and hugged me tight. I awoke in the dream to those around me and declared that it was John. The next morning I was at the Sunday meeting and silently asked the Lord if it was true when all of a sudden my eyes fell immediately on this verse...
"And the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father" Matthew 13:43
I was stunned and in awe and reverence at His great mercy to me. Oh what treasure we have!! The love of our great Father, His Son and His Holy Spirit......and this treasure lives in us!! Oh, how much richer we are then the wealthiest men on earth!.....
Let go of the "stuff" and hold onto your God.......
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Knowing...
This past weekend the church I am in fellowship with planned a block party. The building is in the inner city and so much goes into planning. Food, activities, music, presentations etc...... Well the promised sunshine did not come and it rained the whole time. I was to do the face-painting (my favorite thing to do...) but as you know, that did not happen. It was not only rainy but very cold. So Sunday a weary group of believers came together to worship and hear the Word of the Lord. As they asked different ones to come up and share testimonies, one spoke very clearly to my heart. He shared that of course there was disappointment about the weather yet the Lord may have wanted us to learn something. Because of the storm there were rough moments with an occasional impatient reaction or a job that may have been easy becoming a chore and hard jobs becoming unbearable. We were cold and wet and trying to remain positive. The scripture he read was....
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.." James 1:2,3
The bible I carry was my husbands and he had underlined the word, knowing. It jumped out at me....how important is the "knowing" in a trial. What keeps us going when things don't work out as planned or desired. I can say that the "knowing" is what has kept me going. Knowing the Lord loves me, knowing that He has plans beyond what I can see, knowing that He desires to make me like Christ, knowing He will never leave me or forsake me, knowing that there is so much more to life than the moment, knowing.........
What will make us endure is not a trouble free life but one that is grounded in faith, in knowing our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ intimately and thus being at peace in the midst of the storms. My husband was wise to underline that word.....I can say that he understood its importance. Very little really riled my husband to a frazzle, he remained constant and sure of His Lord's love even in the hardest trials we faced. And now I feel the same assurance.........even as I face my widowhood, I know my Redeemer lives and that He lives to bring me to Himself through all circumstances and trials. Knowing brings patience and patience brings perfection, a Christlike nature and I believe that is His first objective...
I am rest in His arms knowing.......................
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.." James 1:2,3
The bible I carry was my husbands and he had underlined the word, knowing. It jumped out at me....how important is the "knowing" in a trial. What keeps us going when things don't work out as planned or desired. I can say that the "knowing" is what has kept me going. Knowing the Lord loves me, knowing that He has plans beyond what I can see, knowing that He desires to make me like Christ, knowing He will never leave me or forsake me, knowing that there is so much more to life than the moment, knowing.........
What will make us endure is not a trouble free life but one that is grounded in faith, in knowing our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ intimately and thus being at peace in the midst of the storms. My husband was wise to underline that word.....I can say that he understood its importance. Very little really riled my husband to a frazzle, he remained constant and sure of His Lord's love even in the hardest trials we faced. And now I feel the same assurance.........even as I face my widowhood, I know my Redeemer lives and that He lives to bring me to Himself through all circumstances and trials. Knowing brings patience and patience brings perfection, a Christlike nature and I believe that is His first objective...
I am rest in His arms knowing.......................
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Play On
While I sit here alone I have been feeling the loneliness.....but I also have been meditating and praying about some things I need to make decisions about. I pray about everything. I cannot think about my life apart from what the Lord's will is for me. I have been promised that if I seek Him I will find Him. (Deut. 4:29) Also if I trust in Him and lean not on my understanding, and in ALL my ways acknowledge Him He will direct my paths. (Prov. 3:5,6) So I believe this to be true and seek Him daily for my life. I am tempted by my grief to sit alone and just do nothing but sit.....I sit in my rocker and rock and rock....but...... there is inside me a song rising.....one that I heard the day I gave my life to the Lord. It has never left....it might have gotten quieted by hardship and trial but it is always there. I hear it in the night, I hear it when I am in prayer, I hear it in the silence of aloneness. It is I believe part of a symphony and I am one instrument among many. I do not want the pain to silence my song, and I don't think it will. I see the Lord like a conductor holding His baton, tapping it on the music stand and lifting it up as all the instruments gather their attention to Him. He is ready for us to play as one.....this is our time to rise up and make the music of the Kingdom of God.
This world is playing another song, one that is not melodious, it is chaotic and full of fear and it is driving men mad. You see the confusion, and the disharmony bringing no peace, no hope. Yet in the midst of all this darkness, I still hear the song. It is the song of the redeemed.....singing to the Lamb of God.
No matter where I find myself I know I am not of this world. I am an ambassador of another kingdom. I am here to play His song, and be His instrument. And by His Spirit I get tuned and ready to respond to the conductor of my life. I found a card recently that was from my sister Ann Hebert who went home to be with the Lord a year before John. I think the Lord let me find it, and within it was a message to me and I believe it is for you as well......
Within the card it said only two words, ...........PLAY ON............love, Ann
As I read the card, the words rang as a command for me to not sit alone and let life pass me by but to rise again take up my instrument and song and not to let anything stop me. I have a song......His name is
JESUS.
This world is playing another song, one that is not melodious, it is chaotic and full of fear and it is driving men mad. You see the confusion, and the disharmony bringing no peace, no hope. Yet in the midst of all this darkness, I still hear the song. It is the song of the redeemed.....singing to the Lamb of God.
No matter where I find myself I know I am not of this world. I am an ambassador of another kingdom. I am here to play His song, and be His instrument. And by His Spirit I get tuned and ready to respond to the conductor of my life. I found a card recently that was from my sister Ann Hebert who went home to be with the Lord a year before John. I think the Lord let me find it, and within it was a message to me and I believe it is for you as well......
" There are things only you can do, and you are alive to do them. In the great orchestra we call life,
you have an instrument and a song, and you owe it to God to play them both sublimely.
Within the card it said only two words, ...........PLAY ON............love, Ann
As I read the card, the words rang as a command for me to not sit alone and let life pass me by but to rise again take up my instrument and song and not to let anything stop me. I have a song......His name is
JESUS.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Valley of Achor
It has been awhile since I have written....a lot has happened since then. I have given my notice to my current employer and have a new one waiting. I have prayed for this and the Lord has answered. Thank you Lord!
But during this wait and still now I am having a difficult time....
I shed a lot of tears, and the ache of my heart can be felt physically at times...I am getting my house ready to sell, I have lived here almost 20 years. My husband & I and the kids made many memories here. And of course before that as well. So as I start going through things I have to stop because of the emotions that overwhelm me.
I have difficulty with some of the teaching that goes forth from the church here in America. So much about trouble free living with no pain or suffering.......do this or that and you will always get this......all about promises of no difficulties....
Well I would like to share one promise I know......"In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."(John 16:33) We stress the overcome part but forget to take in the whole statement....."in this world you will have tribulation...." When I read my bible I see many brothers and sisters that have gone ahead of us, suffering.....Paul listed quite a few in 2 Corinthians 11, he was whipped, stoned, shipwrecked, in many perils, weariness, toil, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, cold and nakedness. All this coming from the Apostle of faith. I have not experienced near all of these troubles....but I know some suffering and it is when I read about his suffering or our other brethren going through tribulation that I find comfort. You are thinking maybe, "How do you find comfort in that?" It is because I know I am not alone in it. That you can be a follower of Christ, know hardship and still be in His hands. There is a purpose of God that goes beyond this world, one we cannot see except a glimpse......to be made in the image of Jesus Christ. One of my constant prayers is, "Lord let me know you, be like you, for it is You I worship." Well it is hard to really know someone without intimacy, without deep fellowship.
"That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings...."(Phil. 3:10) The other day as I wept, I ached for John. I know where he is and I would not want to take him from there but the pain of my separation from him is beyond words at times. I could say to the Lord that I understood why He cried on the cross, "Father why hast thou forsaken me"....because of the pain of separation from the One He was was in such union with. John & I were one, we enjoyed each others companionship and loved each other deeply, so the pain of separation is felt profoundly. I feel the Lord's heart more, His desire to be one with us, to share such communion and intimacy.
So...................I do not find comfort in "victory" messages of promises of pain free lives. I have found the greatest comfort in the Lord's Presence while in the valley of Achor (trouble). Here is a portion of scripture that the Lord has made my own....
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak to her heart there, and the valley Achor as a door of hope; she shall sing there as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up from the land of Egypt. "And it shall be, in that day," says the Lord, that you will call Me, My Husband, and no longer call Me My Master" (Hosea 2:14-16)
I have found great comfort in these words.....they speak volumes to me. My Lord knows me and He is leading me through this valley......He is speaking to my heart in ways I would not grasp if I was not here. If you are suffering, let Him lead you, and conform you to His image. In that place you will experience His Presence like never before, in death comes life.....His life..... before we know it, we will be with Him and then there will be no more pain or tears......................thank you Jesus....
But during this wait and still now I am having a difficult time....
I shed a lot of tears, and the ache of my heart can be felt physically at times...I am getting my house ready to sell, I have lived here almost 20 years. My husband & I and the kids made many memories here. And of course before that as well. So as I start going through things I have to stop because of the emotions that overwhelm me.
I have difficulty with some of the teaching that goes forth from the church here in America. So much about trouble free living with no pain or suffering.......do this or that and you will always get this......all about promises of no difficulties....
Well I would like to share one promise I know......"In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."(John 16:33) We stress the overcome part but forget to take in the whole statement....."in this world you will have tribulation...." When I read my bible I see many brothers and sisters that have gone ahead of us, suffering.....Paul listed quite a few in 2 Corinthians 11, he was whipped, stoned, shipwrecked, in many perils, weariness, toil, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, cold and nakedness. All this coming from the Apostle of faith. I have not experienced near all of these troubles....but I know some suffering and it is when I read about his suffering or our other brethren going through tribulation that I find comfort. You are thinking maybe, "How do you find comfort in that?" It is because I know I am not alone in it. That you can be a follower of Christ, know hardship and still be in His hands. There is a purpose of God that goes beyond this world, one we cannot see except a glimpse......to be made in the image of Jesus Christ. One of my constant prayers is, "Lord let me know you, be like you, for it is You I worship." Well it is hard to really know someone without intimacy, without deep fellowship.
"That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings...."(Phil. 3:10) The other day as I wept, I ached for John. I know where he is and I would not want to take him from there but the pain of my separation from him is beyond words at times. I could say to the Lord that I understood why He cried on the cross, "Father why hast thou forsaken me"....because of the pain of separation from the One He was was in such union with. John & I were one, we enjoyed each others companionship and loved each other deeply, so the pain of separation is felt profoundly. I feel the Lord's heart more, His desire to be one with us, to share such communion and intimacy.
So...................I do not find comfort in "victory" messages of promises of pain free lives. I have found the greatest comfort in the Lord's Presence while in the valley of Achor (trouble). Here is a portion of scripture that the Lord has made my own....
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak to her heart there, and the valley Achor as a door of hope; she shall sing there as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up from the land of Egypt. "And it shall be, in that day," says the Lord, that you will call Me, My Husband, and no longer call Me My Master" (Hosea 2:14-16)
I have found great comfort in these words.....they speak volumes to me. My Lord knows me and He is leading me through this valley......He is speaking to my heart in ways I would not grasp if I was not here. If you are suffering, let Him lead you, and conform you to His image. In that place you will experience His Presence like never before, in death comes life.....His life..... before we know it, we will be with Him and then there will be no more pain or tears......................thank you Jesus....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)